All children face setbacks, loss, and scary experiences from time to time, and parents often tend to swoop in and save the day whenever it happens. It’s natural to want to protect your child from harm’s way, but sometimes it’s better to let them learn how to deal with certain challenges on their own so that they become more resilient. After all, resilience isn’t something they are born with, it has to be learnt. I have teamed up with an independent school in London to share some tips on how you can raise a resilient child.
Start by demonstrating to your child acceptable ways to deal with certain problems. For example, if you’re struggling with a DIY project, don’t get angry and storm off. Instead, try to remain calm and deal with the problem in a controlled manner. Lay down your tools and take a break. Your child needs to learn how to deal with tricky situations by observing how those around them cope. With that said, always be mindful of your own actions and attitude and focus on being a good role model.
As mentioned above, it’s crucial to give your child some space sometimes so that they can learn to overcome obstacles on independently. When you see this happening, be sure to praise your child. You can say things like “I can see that you were struggling with that piece of homework, so well done for persevering and seeing it through to the end”. We often tend to focus on the end results, like “I’m so proud of you for getting full marks on your spelling test”, but that will lead to disappointment on the occasions where your child gets a poor grade. Instead, it’s important to focus on the process.
When your child does receive a poor grade, help them manage their emotions. Remind them that they are only human and can’t be perfect 100% of the time. Teach them that failure is inevitable and happens to everyone, but the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes so that they don’t happen again. This will help encourage your child to have a growth mindset.