When you get married to the love of your life and start a family, you never imagine that you could one day separate from your spouse. Marriage is meant to last forever, but an increasing number of marriages are heading for divorce in this day and age. This doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage won’t survive – most marriages still do – but it is worth considering whether you are doing all you can to keep your marriage on track.
Your gut feeling will tell you if something is wrong in your marriage, but indeed, most problems are fixable through determination, empathy and teamwork. If these fail, though, your marriage could be heading for a darker time.
Here are three signs you might be approaching divorce.
One or both of you have stopped trying.
Among the myriad reasons for divorce, one of the main ones is that one or both people have stopped trying. They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference – and this is certainly true in a marriage. If you or your spouse have stopped trying, this could be for many different reasons, including depression, work stress, exhaustion or apathy towards the relationship. These things can be worked on or fixed, of course, but only if you actually want to fix them.
If you or your partner feel like you are not interested in fixing the relationship, or not willing to make the effort required, then you could be heading for a separation. It takes both partners to make a marriage work, and if one wheel has fallen off, it can be very hard to get back on track.
You don’t communicate your feelings to each other.
Communication is the key to success in any relationship, be it romantic, familial or work-related. If you fight frequently with your partner, this is actually quite a good thing, although you still may require couple’s counselling in order to help make your communication style more effective.
However, if you have stopped talking and fighting altogether, a bigger problem exists in your relationship. A total lack of communication shows that you have shut off from one another, making it almost impossible to understand or become intimate with one another again.
You or your spouse have been continually unfaithful.
Love is a complicated emotion that is sometimes inexplicable, even to the ones experiencing it. If you or your spouse have met someone else and had a one-night affair, this can be fixable through extensive therapy and reconciliation. Unfaithfulness is very hard, but it can be worked through if both parties are willing.
However, a continued affair either with one person or multiple other partners not only shows a lack of interest in your spouse, but also a lack of respect. It is very difficult to come back from a continued affair; the trust is almost impossible to regain. It can be done, but it would require herculean effort from all involved.
Divorce is often avoidable if couples are willing to put in the work to reconcile their problems. However, these three telltale signs might mean you are in more trouble than you thought.