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The Great Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum Debate

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Ah yes, the great Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum debate.

The debate that splits the unity of mums out there. It’s a debate that has been around for years.

Usually, the whole ‘Do you intend to go back to work after you’ve had your baby?’ question starts off the debate. This is usually where you find where you stand in the great Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum debate with the person asking.

Like, I said, it splits mums everywhere.

During each of my 5 pregnancies, before my babies were born, I’d have people asking me if I was going back to work.

Which, for myself, was always ‘Yes!’ It was never an option for me not to go back to work, but anyway, that’s a different story.

The truth is that whether you choose to be a Stay At Home Mum or a Working Mum, it is a hard decision to make. One is not harder than the other, one is not right and one is not wrong. Both options are perfectly fine – It’s your personal choice.

You do what is right for you, your family and your personal circumstances.

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Working Mum

woman sat at a desk on the phone. working mum

Pros Of Being A Working Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You earn your own money
  • Teach your children the importance of working
  • Maintain your own sense of identity through your achievements at work
  • You get to have an adult conversation
  • Value quality time you spend with your children
  • Your child is having fun & building relationships with others
  • You get to go to the toilet in peace a few times a day
  • You get to drink your coffee whilst it’s still hot a few times a day

Cons Of Being A Working Mum

  • You miss your children – a lot
  • Tiredness from rushing around and getting everyone where they need to be
  • Feeling like you have two jobs
  • Mum guilt when you miss out on parents evenings, school performances, playdates etc.

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

mum sat on the floor with her baby. stay at home mum

Pros Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You’re getting to spend a lot of time with your child
  • You don’t have to split your time between work and home.
  • You get to see all of your children’s firsts
  • No childcare costs

Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

  • Lack Of Adult Conversation
  • It can be lonely
  • Can cause lack of identity
  • Can cause financial strain
  • Your children can lack social interaction with other children

How It ‘Should’ be

Mums supporting each other with whatever decision they choose. To be a stay at home mum or a working mum.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that being a mum is a pretty tough job. None of us needs or want to feel judged for the decision we make about our choices regarding our work choices, families or children.

One thing I’m sure of is that as mums, we all do and want what is best for our family.

How It Is…The Reality

As a Mum, we do feel judged for practically every decision we make. Nothing is different when it comes to the great Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum debate.

No doubt you will have heard things such as

Those who stay at home are ‘sponging off the state’ and ‘are lazy”.

But stay at home mums aren’t the only ones to get bad press, you will probably have heard things like ‘Mums who work are ‘more interested in money’ ‘don’t care about their child’ or ‘aren’t naturally maternal anyway’.

mum so piggy back Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum debate.

I can honestly say that I have felt judged for my decision to return to work, but as I said, it wasn’t a choice for me not to return. I had to do what I had to do to get by financially for my family.

When I was a single mum to my 2 eldest sons, they went to a childminder, who was worth her weight in gold. She was like a second family for my boys.

Once I met my husband, we juggled the childcare between us with us having 2, 3 and 4 children. So when I was on maternity leave with my 5th son, we decided to take the plunge and go self-employed.

We had the best of both worlds, we worked from home. We did what was right for our family.

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I will bet my bottom dollar that as mums we all struggle with ‘mum guilt’ without others adding more doubt and feelings of guilt upon us!

But as long as you know that you’re doing the right thing in your heart for yourself and your family, be proud and give yourself a break. Don’t feel you have to justify your decision to anyone but yourself.

So whether you’re a Stay At Home Mum or Working Mum I salute you! You’re Doing An Amazing Job! Make sure you are taking care of yourself with lots of self-care!

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What are your thoughts on the great Working Mum vs Stay At Home Mum debate?

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