So on 16th June 2019, I decided to take the plunge to join Slimming World Online.
If you’re a regular here and follow me on social media, you will know that my relationship with my body hasn’t been the best, shall we say.
I have a past history of eating disorders, low self-esteem and very poor body image.
It must be 10 years since I last dieted to lose weight. You see, over the last 10 years I was diagnosed with an under active thyroid and i’ve had 3 pregnancies.
Because of my past insecurities, which do still surface every now and again, I used to constantly diet and think my weight and body was a way to be liked and accepted.
That changed once I met my husband, he loved me regardless of my size or shape. My insecurities about my body were put aside.
So as you can imagine, I gained weight due to my under active thyroid, I gained weight with each pregnancy. I was comfortable, in myself and my relationship.
You could say I let myself go, that my weight and body were put on the back burner.
I realised a few years ago that I wasn’t a healthy weight, but because of my past, I ignored it.
I found the body positive movement online. See curvy girls, just like myself. Happy and confident with their bodies and with themselves.
I wanted a piece of that.
But until recently, I have been feeling a little run down, not feeling myself. I visited the doctor and had some bloods taken.
The Game Changer
Upon receiving the results, I was absolutely devestated to find out that I was pre-pre-diabetic!
Now again, unless you’ve been following me, you will know that I lost my Mum to the complications of diabetes. Plus, there is also a family history of diabetes and heart disease. With a number of family members passing away under the age of 40.
This has given me the reality check and kick up the backside I needed.
For the first time in years I stepped on the scales and I cried.
Never have I been to so ashamed of myself. All of the feeling I had all those years ago came flooding back.
Turning Things Around
Then I thought, No, I’m not letting the number on the scales determine how I felt about myself, not again!
I have 5 boys to think of, I am going to learn how to diet sensibly without starving or binging and purging.
I am going to do this for myself, I was going to keep the love I have found for my curves and body but I am going to get healthy.
So right there and then, I decided to join Slimming World Online.
Being a busy Mum and running 3 businesses my time is sacred, so doing this online is and sharing my story, not only am I accountable, but I can also help and encourage others who are on this journey too.